Creating a Life You Love

When I first set out on my journey to become a life coach, I thought that the primary reason people would choose to work with me would be in order to create a life that they love. I expected that that would be through changing their career, or making other significant changes in their personal lives.  The majority of people who have been my clients over the years haven’t been after the dramatic changes I was expecting, but they do all want the same thing.  To be a bit happier!  To have a life that they love, but through smaller changes.  Changes in mindset, in small tweaks to relationships, via incremental improvements in health, work life balance, feelings of self worth and so on.  So this was the way that I started helping people.

Over the (more than 12) years I have been working as a coach, through continuous professional and personal development my approach to helping people to live a life that they love became much more about looking inwards for that change, rather than outwards.  Life has a funny way of re-presenting us with the same challenges in different forms, so if we don’t turn inwards and do the inner work required, it doesn’t matter how many times we tweak those external circumstances, challenges and hurdles will keep cropping up!  So how do you do this?

Start by acknowledging that resistance to a problem is the problem.  The bad feeling is a result of your belief that the experience is undesirable, rather than as a result of the experience.  If you could see the experience as an essential part of your inner growth, how would you move forward?

Start noticing ways in which your inner talk is limiting you, and question it!  Ask those beliefs whether there is anything about them that isn’t 100% true?

Start remembering Who You Really Are.  Who you are before you had all these ideas about who you are ladled on top of your true essence.  Look to connect with that true self often throughout the day.

Once you have done this kind of inner work, you can start looking outwards a little and considering things like:

1. Self care habits. This includes getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly.
2. Spending time with people who lift you up – although be careful not to rely on other people for happiness.  Also look at the more challenging people in your life and pay attention to what you can appreciate about them.
3. Make the most of your time.  Spend time in nature, do activities that feel good or give you a sense of fulfilment.
4. Appreciate. Making a point of being grateful teaches your brain to direct attention to the positive things in life, rather than dwelling on things that don’t feel as good.
5. Be present. Focus on the here and now.  Notice when you mind has wandered off and bring it back to the small details of what is going on around you in every moment.

Found this helpful?  Check out some of my other blog posts, or get in touch for a free initial exploratory chat!