How Can I Improve my Motivation
Do you struggle with Motivation?
If you have things you would like to achieve, but find yourself lacking in motivation to take the actions you need to take to get you there, you aren’t alone. This is a really common problem and one I find myself presented with by clients frequently.
There are 3 core reasons for this:
- Your goal isn’t actually YOUR goal.
- Your self belief or self worth doesn’t let you.
- Your attention isn’t focused in a helpful direction.
So, let’s pick off each of these reasons in turn:
Your Goal isn't actually YOUR goal
Since your arrival on this planet, you have been influenced one way or another by various people. Caregivers, siblings, peers, teachers, partners, the media, social media, and so on and so forth! It is unrelenting. As a result, we can end up with a load of beliefs about what we should be doing and they become our goals.
If you can resonate with this, don’t feel bad. The influence of others is omnipresent! You would have to live off grid with no one else around to never be influenced. That isn’t the answer though, she hastens to add! Learning to listen to your intuition is.
Make it a habit to sit with your intuition on a daily (or at least weekly) basis and ask yourself things like “Is this goal what I really want?” and then feel into your body for an answer. Does it have a positive feeling with it or a “heavy” feeling?
Or ask yourself “What would I REALLY like to achieve?” and (this is the hard bit) WAIT for the answer. I mean give it at least 5 minutes. If nothing comes up, that’s okay. Leave it and come back to it another time, if this isn’t a practice you are used to it can take a little while to get into it.
You can even try sitting with the question “Is it a good idea to consult my intuition regularly?” and see what response you get to that! 😉
Your self belief or self worth doesn't let you
This runs quite a bit deeper and can be a bit confronting. That’s a good sign. The way to get past this kind of resistance it to go through it. If you can resonate with this concept but feel a strong resistance to actually looking into it, you also are not alone.
In childhood, we are learning a HUGE amount of things at a super fast rate. We had to, it’s how we developed into the adults that we are now, who know what a fork is for and not to walk out in front of a moving vehicle. Unfortunately, as part of that process, we also picked up a few ideas that aren’t particularly helpful to us as adult.
Consider this:
You are a small child, attempting to perform a skill that is difficult to you. E.g. doing up the zip of your coat. The caregiver that is with you is feeling a bit frazzled, it’s about 5 minutes after the time that they had in mind to be leaving the house and they really don’t want to be late. So they say “Here, let me do it” and zip up your coat. Perfectly normal and natural thing to happen in this situation, right? However, for the child, it is possible to see this happen and think “I am not as good as this adult at doing up zips”.
When you consider that throughout each day a child will notice that someone else is more able than they are at various things, you can see how easy it is for them to pick up a “I’m not very good at things” belief. Even when the child conquers zipping up their coat, they will soon be trying a new skill and noticing someone else’s more advanced abilities. This continues on and on into adulthood and beyond.
So even with the most loving and understanding of caregivers, it is still possible to pick up this “I’m not good enough” belief. We won’t get into the depths of how painful this belief can be, when associated with other various childhood experiences. That is a much deeper conversation for another time. Probably best done in a 121 setting, or part of a structured course.
With any kind of “I’m not good enough” belief the inner protective part of you will want to avoid the experience of things going badly, and thus the motivation will be lacking.
Your attention is focused in the wrong direction
What I mean by this is are you looking at your lack of results more often than you are looking in the direction that you want to be going?
To illustrate, I am what I would refer to as an advanced beginner (!) when it comes to surfing – I do it so rarely and for such short periods of time, but I enjoy giving it a go. In my experience if I “pop-up” while looking down at the water, a second or so later, I am wiping out into the water. If I was then to start telling yourself “This is hard, I can’t do this” my body responds accordingly and more of the same follows.
Whereas if I look in the direction that I want to go, my body naturally responds by taking me that way. And if I think thoughts of “I know I can do this” my body goes “Okay, I CAN do this: launch sequence of movements that equal “doing this“!”
So, whatever goal you are trying to achieve, if you are often focusing on your lack of results, or someone else’s “better” results and judging yourself against them, it is pretty tough to feel motivated. Whereas if you shift your attention to whatever tiny results you are getting and look at others who have got the results you want and say to yourself “Well, if they can do it, so can I” then your motivation will change.
121 or group motivation
A great way to stay motivated is to stay in a conversation about what you are working towards. I have 2 fantastic options for that.
One is to consider some 121 coaching, where we can help you to focus on and take the action required to maintain your motivation. Tackling any resistance and limiting beliefs along the way. Get in touch if you would like to book a free 20 minute discovery call. Or find out more about me here or via my Instagram.
The other is to join my Membership programme: Optimised Life Miracle Membership, where my amazing colleague Ali and I gently guide people who want to create real change, on a holistic and nurturing journey to dissolve limitation and step into the happiest, healthiest and most empowered version of themselves.
Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!