Making peace with the past
Do we want to make peace with the past, or do we want Peace, full stop?
Our culture teaches that past experience can be carried forward. Affecting us in our day to day, as ‘emotional baggage’ or learned patterns of behaviour. While there is some truth to this experience, the need to heal is brought into question by a shift in understanding. That shift in understanding happens with the exploration of the nature of experience. But let’s explore the accepted paradigm first.
“Treat others as you wish to be treated”
A message that makes total sense. When we aren’t suffering, that’s what we tend to do. If someone treated you a way you wouldn’t wish to be treated, it would have as though your wellbeing was on the line. The rule wasn’t followed, you suffered and felt insecure. If your security and wellbeing was under threat, you would feel uneasy emotions. Learnt at a young age, the beliefs that come with that experience can be painful and can pervade into later life.
Most people have some form of demons from the past, leading to an underlying belief that they are not secure, or not good enough. You aren’t alone. Exploring how you feel about the past with a view to healing it looks appropriate. But what if the peace is available now? Without digging up old traumas?
If what you really want is Peace, you can have it much more easily than you think.
This is the point where we look back to the original statement, about the change in a fundamental understanding, the question of who we really are. If it looks to us like who we are is limited to a body, a mind, a set of thoughts and memories – as our culture teaches us to, we need help. If we look to the core of our being – our essence – who we really are, we notice that we are whole and perfect. Untouched by the past and secure in the here and now.
Peace is at the very core of our being. When identification with the memories drops away, we experience Peace.
When we forget
When we forget that Peace is at our core, we think we need to do something to attain it. With that belief, we’ll suffer. When we suffer, it’s harder to remember to treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Understanding the nature of this experience can help. If you want to explore the past, consider this:
The person who mistreated you must have been suffering.
That doesn’t excuse it or make it forgivable. But it does go a way to helping you to understand their behaviour. From understanding, peace can rise. Think about your own behaviour. At some point in your life, you will have done something to another person that you aren’t proud of. However mild, or minor. Why? You were suffering. You believed you needed to defend or promote yourself and your actions were what followed that belief.
Peace is so close that there are no steps you need to take to find it. While you can and may decide to go on a journey back to your memories, to view them in a different light; it’s not essential. The truth is that Peace is your essence. Without the mental running commentary of how thing ‘should’ be, Peace is experienced. You’ll have experienced this many times when thought spontaneously dropped away and peace returned.
Don’t just take my word for it. Try it out for yourself. Go on the journey from you to You. Close your eyes and ask yourself, “without the belief of how things should have been in the past, how would I feel?”
This blog post is a scratch on the surface of this understanding. To really embody it, it’s important to keep exploring. Please look through other blog posts. Videos are coming soon on YouTube too.
Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!