Mental Health

Why you could come to me when you might otherwise go to a counsellor.

Coach, not a counsellor

First, let me start by being clear that I am not a counsellor.  My approach is very different to any style of counselling (or coaching!) you may have previously experienced.  Yet it is relevant to consider using my services at a time when you might be considering visiting a counsellor.   

I’ll help you to uncover a discovery about yourself, your experience of life and emotions that feels so familiar, you’ll wonder why you didn’t already know this.  Truth is, you did.  You were born with a perfect understanding, yet your conditioning has pointed you in a different direction.  Into one of separation, comparison and a constant need for improvement.

In the average lifetime, a broad range of emotions are experienced.  Highs, lows and …meh.  Sometimes these emotions feel like they are connected to an experience.  Perhaps you are worried about the future, depressed about your circumstances or angry about how you are being treated.  At other times, the emotions seem to rise and fall on their own.  Unreasonable happiness, excitement at goodness knows what.  Anxiety without causal circumstances.

You’ve most likely been taught to take these emotions as though they are yours and to work through them, trying to make yourself feel better.  Trying to experience more of the highs and fewer lows.  Sometimes you might find short term relief in a conversation, a change of circumstances, reassurance about the future.  But the range of emotions continues to be experienced.

That’s normal.  It’s to be expected.

The emotions are not a problem.  The only “problem” so to speak is when you resist or desire specific emotions.  Believing that they are more right or wrong than others.  Don’t worry, everyone does this, it is our life long conditioning to do so.  However, all emotions are created equal.  Each of them is a collection of sensations to be experienced.  Without judgement, shoulds, resistance or desire, each would be experienced for what it is, for as long as it is present – until the next emotion arises.

Psychology traditionally teaches us to work through these emotions, to think more positively, clear our heads, to reframe our perspective about our circumstances.  But the tide is changing.  Clients come to me now when they are experiencing these emotions and just want to feel differently about how they feel.  One of my roles as a coach is to help people who might otherwise visit a therapist, to uncover a different understanding of themselves.  One that frees them from the conditioning of a lifetime, to experience themselves a new.  Yet nothing needs to change.

This approach could be the uncovering you’ve been waiting for.  You know the pull that something isn’t quite right here which niggles away in the background?  It’s NOT calling you to change/improve yourself.  It’s calling you to rediscover yourself.