Men’s Mental Health

Dec 2, 2024 | Executive Coaching, Personal Development

Having challenges with your mental and emotional health, experiencing stress, burn out or relationship issues is no longer the taboo subject for men that it used to be, thanks to so many well respected, successful individuals stepping forward and openly talking about the challenges they have experienced.  This is amazing and I am grateful to those men who have opened the door for others to feel comfortable in acknowledging that they are finding that side of life difficult at times too.  Realising there is a problem is the first step to finding the solutions.

 Are Men’s Mental Health Challenges Different to Women’s?

Yes and no.  Broadly speaking, both men and women are all susceptible to the same mental and emotional health challenges.  The difference in current generational and cultural terms, is the way that each gender addresses their challenges.  Before I go any further I wish to acknowledge at this point that I am writing in very broad terms.  I see a lot of clients both male and female and no two individuals are the same.  However, there are undoubtedly similarities in the way many women are likely to have been brought up compared to many men and there are genetic, biological differences, on the whole too.  Nature, nurture, or a bit of both, it’s impossible to be 100% sure!
 That said, the general differences are:
  • Women tend to gather people around them, to want be part of a supportive community and connect via sharing.  As children they may have had more emphasis placed on the importance of being a good listener, a good friend, being kind and they may have been praised for these sorts of things more than the average boy.  If this were the case, they are likely to have a network of other supportive women with whom they can discuss difficulties they are experiencing.
  • Men tend to be more linear, working in a particular direction and wanting to get there by themselves.  They are more likely to keep problems to themselves and only reach out when they are certain they cannot solve the problem alone.  As children, they may have had more emphasis placed on the importance of being strong, tough, not letting themselves be pushed around, not crying, being determined and independent.  Men who have been brought up in this way are less likely to seek help at all and may not even wish to acknowledge to themselves that they are finding anything difficult.

All of these things are observations, rather than hard rules, so if this doesn’t resonate with you at all, that is totally fine.  Keep reading though, as the rest of the article will still be helpful. 

You are always okay wellbeing

Acknowledge, Regulate, Process, Release, Grow

Acknowledging that your mental and emotional health is not what you would like it to be is the first step in moving forward.  It provides a frame of reference from which you are in a position to choosing something else.  This is massively important.  Without seeing this, you would just keep going exactly as you are and sadly there are consequences to not addressing our emotional wellbeing.

So, the next step is to start processing your challenging emotions and make small daily efforts to regulate your nervous system.  Regulating the nervous system deserves it’s own blog, you can read that here: Regulate Your Nervous System.  
  • Emotions are like protestors outside a corporate giant, they want to be heard.  If you ignore them, they come back again soon with more people and cause more trouble.  Processing your emotions is the opposite of distracting yourself from them (the normal human reaction), or masking them with alcohol, food or other addictive activities.  It means sitting with them and allowing them to be.  Breathing into them, acknowledging and feeling them.  This may be something you are comfortable to do on your own, or you may prefer to do this with clear guidance and instruction (this forms part of the emotional wellbeing coaching I offer).   Once the emotion has been fully processed it is free to move on!
  • Regulating your nervous system, means moving it from a state of fight, freeze or fight, into rest and digest (which is also caring and loving).  Western culture means we are in an “on” state the majority of the time, so our ability to return to rest and digest has become compromised.  The Vagus Nerve is in charge of this job and there a numerous ways you can active this nerve.  One of the most popular and easily accessible methods is breathing techniques.  Try box breathing, which is breathing in for a count of 4, holding for 4, breathing out for a count of 4, holding for 4 and repeating that for 5 minutes.  You will feel yourself calming down and the more you do this, the easier it becomes for you to return to a state of calm.  Another option is to spend some time thinking about the people and things that you love and deeply appreciating their presence in your life.
Just doing these two things alone will make a massive difference to how you feel.  Think of this as firefighting.  This is the part that puts the fire out.  Next we can move on to some fire prevention.  One of the biggest causes of these fires is our own limiting beliefs and negative self talk that ruminates in our minds, day in day out, on repeat.  Constantly questioning whether we are good enough, whether we are on the right track, if we are up to the job, whether we might get rejected and so on and so forth.  What your limiting beliefs are will depend upon the conditioning you picked up either while you were very young, or have been subjected to on repeat as an adult.

Laying Down New Neural Pathways

Once you can see your limiting beliefs and self talk, you can start to question and unlearn them.  Then lay down some positive neural pathways.  Believing good things about yourself and about your life.  I have a blog on Limiting Beliefs here and and series of reels on my instagram page, which you can get to via this link.

121 Support

As I mentioned earlier, I work with a lot of men and in particular around their mental and emotional wellbeing.  Many of these men are experiencing success in their working lives, but at a cost.  My coaching honours their desire to continue to be (more) successful if that is important, without it costing them their health – as well as making it easier for them to be good parents and partners and happier people. 

Working with me 121 could give you the space you need to work through difficult emotions, learn more about how your repeating self-talk is sabotaging your happiness and how to change it.  I always start with a no-cost discovery call, so you can find out more about me and how I work.  Please use the link to book yourself.  If none of the times work, please let me know – I have a few default items in my diary that can be jiggled to open up other space.

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