The Joy of Not Getting What You Want

How mundane it would be, if everything you wanted just popped into your life, with ease, every time.

I often write articles about how we don’t need anything to be a particular way, for us to experience happiness.  There aren’t a binary set of conditions that if we had, we’d feel good all the time.  Or another set of conditions that if we had, we’d feel bad all the time.   The idea that we need any particular conditions at all is an illusion which has us chasing our tails and constantly seeking happiness that is always just slightly out of reach.  It doesn’t seem to matter what we get, we’ll always be able to come up with more things that we want.  So every circumstance achieved can be met with a “now what?” as we near enough immediately move our attention onto the next thing we think we should have.

So when we get this, when we can see that need/conditionality is an illusion, we get to play with it!  We get to see that it doesn’t matter whether or not we actually get what we want.  In fact, there is a certain JOY in not getting what we want.

You see, when we don’t get what we want all the time, we appreciate life differently.

If there’s a condition or circumstance that remains elusively out of reach, knowing that you are okay whether you get there or not, you get to play with the experience.  To find out how you show up and what creative approaches you’ll take.  The apparent failure becomes a means through which you can express your True Nature.  You find a richness in the journey, rather than everything being about the end result.  You notice other things along the way that may be interesting to explore; like new hobbies, fermenting foods, or a sudden interest in your neighbours’ camelia plant you can see out of your window.

Perhaps your fascination turns to the journey inwards.  Into exploring the questions “Who is the me that wants this experience?” or “What is the real source of the fulfilment I’m seeking in this experience?”  (The answers to these questions are featured in a video I’ll be releasing soon).

The exploration of these questions has been my most fascinating adventure to date.  I’m grateful for all the things I want that I haven’t got, for helping me to see the real source of joy.