Butterfly Effect Coaching https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk Butterfly Effect Coaching is a Business Coach, provides Executive Coaching and Personal Coaching Tue, 25 Jun 2019 15:31:48 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.2.2 Arse covering and the environment https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/arse-covering-and-the-environment Tue, 25 Jun 2019 15:31:00 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=4505 The post Arse covering and the environment appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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War On Plastic

I’ve been watching the War On Plastic on BBC One with Anita & Hugh the last three of weeks.  What has been interesting to observe (although not surprising), is that whenever Anita, Hugh or any of those involved in the programme approach an organisation, person or the government about the plastic issues that are being raised, they are immediately met with arse covering and vagueary (if that’s a word).  At a time when the attention of the country is very clearly and directly acknowledging that there is a big problem and that something needs to be done about as a matter of urgency if we would like life in its present form to continue – the people who are in a position to make changes’ first reaction is one of self-protection.

plastic pollution

Why?

This seems to me, to be the fundamental problem.  Whether the reaction is “Why should I go without the thing I like having?” or “Our company is compliant and will continue to be compliant with the legislation on this issue” (not said, and will not do any more as we want to make big profits) or “our government will look to address this seriously” (vague), it comes from the same place:

I need to protect myself.

This need to protect the individual comes from a mistaken belief that we are all separate.  That who we are is limited to this individual body/mind, and that the protection and promotion of it is the most important thing.  I.e. it’s pointless protecting the planet if my company won’t be making as much money.  Or “why should I do my bit if Tom at number 67 isn’t doing his?”  

When we remove the belief in separation and identify with the sense of Being, rather than the individual body, it no longer makes sense to do things for the benefit of the individual, when it’s to the detriment of anything else. That’s why my interest in sharing this understanding in my work is so strong.  A few years ago I thought I would focus my coaching efforts on helping eco-friendly businesses to do well, but it makes much more sense to me now, to focus on removing the obstacles in the way of the desire to do what is right for all.

It’s my belief that a Non-dual understanding makes way for loving behaviour.  Whether that’s in business, towards the environment, in relationships of towards yourself.  It’s my pleasure to share this understanding in some of the work that I do.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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Hiring a Wellbeing Coach https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/wellbeing-coach Tue, 18 Jun 2019 14:37:18 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=4493 The post Hiring a Wellbeing Coach appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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Wellbeing – the sense of ‘being’ within which wellness is always present.

Why Wellbeing?

Due to increased poor mental and emotional health, as well as stress-related illnesses, costing employers and the NHS a lot of money, wellbeing has been brought to the forefront of most of our minds.  We are now regularly being encouraged to look after our wellbeing by employers, the government, doctors, magazines, tv programmes and the like.  Most of these will urge you to do specific activities to take care of your wellbeing.  That might include things like:

  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Getting out in nature
  • Healthy eating
  • Self-care
  • Spending time with people you care about
  • Reading for pleasure
  • Decluttering
  • Having a make-over
  • Getting pampered (massage/facial etc)

 

Wellbeing coach healthy lifestyle

Many companies are bringing wellbeing activities into the workplace to encourage their uptake even more strongly.  There is nothing wrong with this.  There are many different types of coaches working in this field to encourage healthy living and wellbeing practices, all of which are incredibly valuable, and often practices I participating in myself.   However, in my work as a coach, I have witnessed a pattern happening over and over again.  

People do not make time for these wellbeing activities if they do not believe that it is safe to do so.

In order words, if you believe that taking 30 minutes to meditate, means that you would drop the ball on another important area and then suffer the implications of that, you either won’t do the wellbeing activity, or won’t receive the intended benefits as a result of doing it – should you partake but stress that you shouldn’t be.  So, without a change in understanding, it doesn’t matter how much encouragement you receive, or how accessible these activities are, the benefits will be lost.

wellbeing coach meditation

In my work as a coach, it is of fundamental importance to me that all of my clients know first and foremost that they are safe.  From there, we can then go on to look at behaviours that make sense. 

What do I mean about them knowing they are safe?

This comes down to shining a light on the misunderstanding that we humans carry around, believing that we who are is this separate, limited ego and it’s our relentless responsibility to make sure that we are okay and are getting life ‘right’.  We are constantly chasing more okayness and trying to avoid potential not-okayness.  This has us feeling stressed and stretched an awful lot of the time, as there is always more to do, better to get, further comparisons to make and worries to discover.  That stress and stretching can even extend to stressing about whether we are doing enough (or the right) wellbeing activities!  Totally counterproductive.  I coach my clients to understand who they are and that their wellbeing is not on the line.  I help them to look beyond the stretching and stressing, to a version of themselves that they had forgotten existed.  Their true nature.  From that perspective they will find that wellbeing is their natural state – or to put it more poetically, they will fall into a well of their being.

wellbeing coach out in nature

If you are looking for a wellbeing coach, I’d love the chance to chat with you about this extremely different angle of approaching wellbeing.  I do my work 121 or in groups, as one-offs or as programmes.  I’m pretty reasonable and flexible, and there’s no obligation at this stage.  Just a chat!

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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Mental Health https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/mental-health Tue, 11 Jun 2019 15:47:24 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=4480 The post Mental Health appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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Why you could come to me when you might otherwise go to a counsellor.

Coach, not a counsellor

First, let me start by being clear that I am not a counsellor.  My approach is very different to any style of counselling (or coaching!) you may have previously experienced.  Yet it is relevant to consider using my services at a time when you might be considering visiting a counsellor.   

I’ll help you to uncover a discovery about yourself, your experience of life and emotions that feels so familiar, you’ll wonder why you didn’t already know this.  Truth is, you did.  You were born with a perfect understanding, yet your conditioning has pointed you in a different direction.  Into one of separation, comparison and a constant need for improvement.

mental health counsellor

In the average lifetime, a broad range of emotions are experienced.  Highs, lows and …meh.  Sometimes these emotions feel like they are connected to an experience.  Perhaps you are worried about the future, depressed about your circumstances or angry about how you are being treated.  At other times, the emotions seem to rise and fall on their own.  Unreasonable happiness, excitement at goodness knows what.  Anxiety without causal circumstances.

You’ve most likely been taught to take these emotions as though they are yours and to work through them, trying to make yourself feel better.  Trying to experience more of the highs and fewer lows.  Sometimes you might find short term relief in a conversation, a change of circumstances, reassurance about the future.  But the range of emotions continues to be experienced.

positive thinking counselling mental health

That’s normal.  It’s to be expected.

The emotions are not a problem.  The only “problem” so to speak is when you resist or desire specific emotions.  Believing that they are more right or wrong than others.  Don’t worry, everyone does this, it is our life long conditioning to do so.  However, all emotions are created equal.  Each of them is a collection of sensations to be experienced.  Without judgement, shoulds, resistance or desire, each would be experienced for what it is, for as long as it is present – until the next emotion arises.

Psychology traditionally teaches us to work through these emotions, to think more positively, clear our heads, to reframe our perspective about our circumstances.  But the tide is changing.  Clients come to me now when they are experiencing these emotions and just want to feel differently about how they feel.  One of my roles as a coach is to help people who might otherwise visit a therapist, to uncover a different understanding of themselves.  One that frees them from the conditioning of a lifetime, to experience themselves a new.  Yet nothing needs to change.

This approach could be the uncovering you’ve been waiting for.  You know the pull that something isn’t quite right here which niggles away in the background?  It’s NOT calling you to change/improve yourself.  It’s calling you to rediscover yourself.

rediscover yourself

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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Leadership and the Ego https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/leadership-and-the-ego Tue, 28 May 2019 15:07:11 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=4252 The post Leadership and the Ego appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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The work I do as a Leadership coach has a stark difference to the usual training given in our culture.

The essential difference to the teaching and coaching that I offer to leaders and managers is a foundational understanding, which is not addressed in regular leadership and management training.  Yet this understanding is what drives the behaviour that we are teaching leaders and managers that they ought to be doing.

The traditional approach is to observe managers and leaders who are good at what they do and look for the behaviours they are doing, which can be considered best practice.  These behaviours are then made into training programmes and taught to future leaders and managers.  The expectation is that all these new managers need to do is follow these patterns, and they’ll get the same results.  However, have you ever experienced knowing that an alternative behaviour is more desirable than the one you are acting out, yet still continuing on your path anyway?  You see, knowing the behaviour isn’t the only thing that’s important.  It is important, but the understanding that drives the behaviour has to come first, otherwise, no amount of learning will create a lasting habit.

With regard to leadership and management, the foundational understanding we are referring to is an awareness of Ego and the role it plays in human behaviour.  Both for those in the management position, and the teams they are looking to lead.  The behaviour of someone who’s prime behaviour (because this is what has been conditioned since birth) is to protect and promote the ego, in whatever way makes sense to them, isn’t really behaviour that is compatible with being a good leader or manager.   

Let’s be clear here though.  I’m not only referring to people who appear arrogant.  Everyone has an Ego.  The Ego is the character with which they identify and they want to see that character do well.  “Doing well” can mean all sorts of different things to different people.  It might mean getting another promotion, being liked, being “right”, feeling good enough. Imagine a leader for whom being liked is the most important thing.  You can see that they may avoid addressing difficult situations.  Imagine one for whom being right is the most important thing and you can see that they may be less likely to empower others to come up with solutions or listen to alternative perspectives.

Now imagine a leader for whom it comes naturally to consider what is best for the whole, and to see the individuals in that whole as an intrinsic part of themselves. That person is going to work collaboratively, in an empowering way, not afraid to admit mistakes or promote others.  Not afraid to have difficult conversations when things aren’t working for the whole but will be sensitive about it too. 

This can come naturally to anyone who has opened their eyes to a different understanding, realising that meeting the needs of the ego is not the answer to lasting peace and happiness.  This is what I teach.  I do work on the strategic stuff too, but without this foundational understanding that would be a wasted effort.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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Non-Duality Retreat – Oct 11th-14th 2019 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/non-duality-retreat-oct-2019-england Wed, 15 May 2019 15:07:52 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=4072 The post Non-Duality Retreat – Oct 11th-14th 2019 appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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Non-Duality Retreat – Oct 11th-14th 2019

                                          Explore the mystery…

Following a wonderful Non-Duality retreat in Scotland, run along with my colleagues Sara Priestley & Ali Scott, we’re pleased to be offering our next relaxing, immersive and eye-opening experience for those who wish to deepen their understanding of our true nature (who we are before our ego’s got in the way).  It’s a chance to leave everything behind for a few days and share a conversation on a uniquely different perspective of life, that unites us all and relieves us of the idea that we are separate and isolated.

From our earliest memories, we’ve been forming ideas of who we are and what we need in order to be “okay”.  These beliefs can hold us in a near constant state of lack or unease, as life, from this perspective, feels like something we have to be constantly striving to get right.  Even if it feels like we’re doing well at life, we can still be at the mercy of the fear that we might lose it all.  This retreat is an opportunity to explore a different way of understanding life, in depth, with 3 very different teachers.  We all have our individual way of revealing this to you in a way that makes sense to your experience. You may discover on this retreat a sense of peace, freedom, or contentment that rises to the surface as the years of conditioning are gently drawn back.

This time we’re retreating to the Kent Countryside.  Kent is known as the garden of England, and we have selected a property in the Kent Downs, an area of outstanding natural beauty for our next retreat.  The last retreat provided a fantastic opportunity to hear more on non-duality from us 3 and explore this understanding in a supportive group setting. This one promises the same.  There will be lots of opportunities to ask the questions that you’ve always wanted to, make new friends and to enjoy the beautiful surroundings.

Your Hosts

Ali Scott shares this understanding through her coaching, speaking and writing, often working with parents. She tenaciously points to true nature with a fierce love.

Vicky Kelly is often found working with the Business Community. She blends a clear understanding and love for truth with gentleness and good humour.

Published poet Sara Priestly teaches coaches and anyone looking to explore this understanding further. She has an incredible way with words, and always resolutely points back to who we are.

What to expect from the retreat

The accommodation is self-catered and comprises of one main property and 2 cosy barns.  The plan is for all guests to have their own room for downtime and reflection, however, if you are more than happy to share, or wish to attend as a couple, please let us know as we do have the option to make this work. Meetings will be in a relaxed living area in the main building. There will be talks morning and afternoon, with a lunch break for relaxing, walking, chatting with new friends and enjoying the countryside. There is also the opportunity to relax with us during the evenings or spend some peaceful time alone.

We are likely to do one shared evening meal together (probably on the Friday).  Please arrived fully stocked with your food for the weekend.  If you’d like to get in touch with other guests to see about cooking together, please let us know and we will put you in touch.  

Schedule

  • Friday 11th – Start at 1pm
  • Saturday 12th – 9am – 12pm meeting and 3pm – 6pm.
  • Sunday 13th – Same timings as Saturday
  • Monday 14th – Clear out of bedrooms, then 9.30 – 12.30pm final meeting (finish at 1pm).

 

Non duality retreat england

Pricing and Accommodation options

  • Self Catered Double for one person £650/£700
  • Self Catered twin to share £600 pp
  • Self Catered Double for two people £1000

Please note that accommodation options are on a first come first served basis.  Please get in touch to discuss which option best suits your requirements.

I want to come – what should I do?

There are only around 10 spaces available, so deposits are a must.  The payment plan is as follows:

  • £250 deposit per person to secure your spot (non-refundable if you cancel).
  • £200 instalment due end July
  • Final payment due end Aug.

Please contact me directly to express your interest, through my usual contact channels.  Alternatively, you can pay your deposit online to secure your spot right away with this link.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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Stand in Truth https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/stand-in-truth Fri, 03 May 2019 12:46:36 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=3973 The post Stand in Truth appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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Do you play small, for fear of appearing superior?

Do you spend time trying to look right, sound right and do the right thing, in order to ‘fit in’?

Do you hide your light, because it’s so bright it scares you?              

Do you chase success, relationship goals and perfect hair because you’re worried about being seen to not be good enough?

Do you ever do anything that doesn’t feel like it’s genuinely “you”?

If you can say ”yes” to any of these questions, that’s perfectly natural.  We’re conditioned to see ourselves as separate and comparable.  To fear judgement and condemnation.  But what happens when we live from that perspective?  It doesn’t matter what we do or achieve, a yearning remains.  A gentle pull, tugging at the back of somewhere, letting us know that something isn’t quite right about all this.  That yearning is the truth of who we are, gently nudging for attention.  Not letting us totally forget that we have never been separate.  That we can never be found to be lacking, or too much.  Not at the level that matters.

It can be scary, to listen to that call.  The call to stand in truth.  For fear of the unknown.  The ego vies for our attention, warning us that it’s not safe to shine our light that brightly.  To let go of its shackles and limitations.  To see ourselves as much more than we’ve come to think of ourselves as being.  Because what happens when we do? 

The answer is we realise we’re home.  We find the source of all that we are.  Courage, power, love, peace and security.  It’s found in stepping into the Awareness of who we are.  Not in chasing it in the outside world.  We begin the endless quest to gently peel back the layers of the ego and find our authentic truth.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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Mindfulness for Staff https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/mindfulness-for-staff Tue, 23 Apr 2019 15:49:49 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=3912 Mindfulness – the buzz word of staff wellbeing, but how easy is it to achieve?!

The idea makes sense, but how easy is it in practice to divert your busy mind to exclusively concentrate on one thing?

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Mindfulness – the buzzword of staff wellbeing, but how easy is it to achieve?!

The idea makes sense, but how easy is it, in practice, to divert your busy mind to exclusively concentrate on one thing?

mindfulness for staff

In my experience, mindfulness is not often achieved on purpose.  Almost as though, the harder we try to reach that desirable state of calm focus, the more our minds resist and throw at us all the other things we should be thinking of (including what might happen next in that boxset you’re currently binging and the lyrics to that Alanis Morrisette tune you haven’t heard for at least 8 years).  However, when you aren’t trying, you suddenly realise how engrossed you have been in the colour of the leaves on the trees you’re walking past – or how the last hour has just whizzed past without a single thought appearing to take hold, as you were just in flow with the activity you were doing.

If you’re lucky, sometimes, when trying to be mindful, you may experience mindfulness.  But I’d very surprised if it happens every single time.

Mindfulness, like meditation, has been come to be considered as an activity when it actually describes a state.  Funnily enough, they both describe the same state.  The state of the “Ego” having dropped away and a oneness (lack of separation) with whatever is at hand being experienced.  This is the most natural and normal state and it doesn’t require any effort to experience it.  However, it does appear as though understanding the Ego/alternative can help.

As implied in the Rumi quote “your task is not to seek for love, but to find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – the same can be said for finding that state of mindfulness.  It’s understanding what stops us from experiencing mindfulness or meditation that can take us there.  Rather than seeking that state.  

focused mindful at work

I have written numerous blog posts on the Ego, which I’d like to invite you to browse.  However, to tie up this article nicely, and to make it work related, I’d simply describe it as the following:

The Ego is the part of us that believes that things need to be a certain way in order for us to be okay.  So it is always on the look-out for things that appear urgent, important or both.  Often with additional commentary on the potential consequences that could arise, if these urgent and important matters are not dealt with in a prompt and effective manner.  In the workplace, these are very easy to find.

The truth is that we are always okay, but the Ego has us operating with fear of consequences snapping at our heels.  We might get things done, and it might even appear as if we’re organised – but is it really how we want to live and work?  Or would we rather be able to acknowledge situations as they are, acknowledge that we are still okay and see that the situation is providing an opportunity to learn and grow – then go about whatever needs to be done from that perspective?

Have a look around your workplace.  How many people are caught up with a mind full of things that could go wrong, versus how many deeply know that they are okay.  Is this a switch you’d like to see in your company?  Rather than encouraging the activities of mindfulness and meditation, how would you like to provide the understanding that allows it to happen naturally?

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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Always thinking about work? https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/always-thinking-about-work Fri, 12 Apr 2019 16:38:24 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=3861 The post Always thinking about work? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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Does your mind churn, every evening, overnight, at the weekends? Always thinking about work. What’s coming up, problems that could arise, what your colleagues/clients may think of you?

With all that on your mind, it’s reasonable to conclude that your work is very demanding, it’s really important that you don’t drop any balls and that’s why you’re always thinking about work.

What if I was to suggest that it’s not about your job or business, it’s about your ego? 

Don’t worry, I’m not implying that you are an arrogant person with an inflated sense of importance.  “Ego” is an easy term I use to describe the sense of self that believes it needs to get life right.  In society at the moment, egos are running the show.  We have 7.5 billion egos all trying to get life right, yet all with slightly different thoughts on what “right” is.  The ideas that we do hold are wobbly at best because no sooner have we achieved the thing that we thought we needed, then we’ve noticed the way that someone else is doing life, and wonder if their way is more “right” than ours.   Or, we just go into a state of fear over losing whatever condition we’ve acquired!

It’s a bit of a cosmic joke really.  The idea that our security and sense of being “good enough” can come from a set of conditions – which are, by their nature, insecure.  These conditions can pass at any time.  No matter how hard we work, or how vigilant we are. 

That doesn’t mean that we need to live in fear of losing them (which is often what is happening for someone who is always thinking about work and finds it difficult to switch their mind off when they aren’t at work).  What it does mean is that, if we want to feel secure, we need to look to something other than our conditions. 

But to what?

I encourage my clients to look to what is permanent.  The sense of self which isn’t attached to anything, not even the body.  We’ve all experienced this – the awareness of self, without the awareness of our body – then we are suddenly surprised at how far we’ve driven, or how we managed to make that cup of tea while daydreaming about the weekend.  And then we’re back, believing that the body is who we are.

This is because our conditioning taught us that sense of self comes from within the body.  When we believe that, we believe ourselves to be a separate ego that needs to get life right.  But there is no right.  And chasing a non-existent right makes it so hard to switch off.  So this can’t be the way to live.  Surely there has to be another way.

There is.  It’s found in the transformational paradigm shift that I share with my clients.  Stop seeing yourself as the Ego, and start seeing yourself as the sense of being that is always present.  There’s more to it than that of course, but can you just imagine how you’d feel if you didn’t believe that there was a “right” way to get life?

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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The Joy of Not Getting What You Want https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/the-joy-of-not-getting-what-you-want Fri, 05 Apr 2019 10:01:40 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=3829 The post The Joy of Not Getting What You Want appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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How mundane it would be, if everything you wanted just popped into your life, with ease, every time.

I often write articles about how we don’t need anything to be a particular way, for us to experience happiness.  There aren’t a binary set of conditions that if we had, we’d feel good all the time.  Or another set of conditions that if we had, we’d feel bad all the time.   The idea that we need any particular conditions at all is an illusion which has us chasing our tails and constantly seeking happiness that is always just slightly out of reach.  It doesn’t seem to matter what we get, we’ll always be able to come up with more things that we want.  So every circumstance achieved can be met with a “now what?” as we near enough immediately move our attention onto the next thing we think we should have.

So when we get this, when we can see that need/conditionality is an illusion, we get to play with it!  We get to see that it doesn’t matter whether or not we actually get what we want.  In fact, there is a certain JOY in not getting what we want.

You see, when we don’t get what we want all the time, we appreciate life differently.

If there’s a condition or circumstance that remains elusively out of reach, knowing that you are okay whether you get there or not, you get to play with the experience.  To find out how you show up and what creative approaches you’ll take.  The apparent failure becomes a means through which you can express your True Nature.  You find a richness in the journey, rather than everything being about the end result.  You notice other things along the way that may be interesting to explore; like new hobbies, fermenting foods, or a sudden interest in your neighbours’ camelia plant you can see out of your window.

Perhaps your fascination turns to the journey inwards.  Into exploring the questions “Who is the me that wants this experience?” or “What is the real source of the fulfilment I’m seeking in this experience?”  (The answers to these questions are featured in a video I’ll be releasing soon).

The exploration of these questions has been my most fascinating adventure to date.  I’m grateful for all the things I want that I haven’t got, for helping me to see the real source of joy.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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You Already See True Nature https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/you-already-see-true-nature Mon, 25 Mar 2019 15:18:32 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=3735 The post You Already See True Nature appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

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Another blog post in the ‘Beginners guide to true nature’ series.

I find myself being very gentle in my sharing. Whether writing, speaking or coaching 121. Taking my clients on a journey from the way they are taught to see something, to a fundamentally different understanding.  Yet, when we get there, it’s never a surprise.  It’s the most normal shift.  So while the concepts and ideas that my colleagues and I share are counter our culture’s conditioning, they are profoundly normal and recognisable, when you give them a moment to settle in.

Here are a few that you’ll recognise:

I am not my body

You’ve had the experience of walking or driving along, attention on many things other than the walking or driving, yet the body still gets where it’s going. It doesn’t trip up, fall down, stop moving, crash the car. It doesn’t require effort from you to keep it on its path. But the sense of you was not with your body and didn’t need to be. Why? Because your true nature is not limited to your body.

We share a being

You’ve had the experience of some impulse making you look up, only to catch the eye of a person you’ve never seen before. You smile warmly at one another in recognition. Or maybe you feel drawn to make physical contact with others (humans and animals) touching the arm, a hug. We limit whom we contact to those it is socially recognised as being appropriate to touch, but even a hug from a stranger can feel like home. Why?  Because the being we share is recognising itself in others.

I am not separate

Have you ever dreamt of an experience and then it happened?  Or thought of a person then they get in touch. Have you ever felt elation or sadness on behalf of an apparent stranger?  Or put the needs of someone else before your own needs. Have you ever felt the pleasure of giving or of helping someone else?  Could that be because there is no separation between us and others?

I am whole and complete already

Have you ever woken up in the morning, blissful and peaceful, before conditioned thought returned of what appeared to need your attention? Perhaps you’ve had the experience of something “going wrong” only to notice a deep sense of peace underlying everything. Or you’ve noticed how, even when you feel terrible, these terrible feelings are not consistent. They are interspersed with calm feelings, with happiness or a sense of okayness.  Could it be that your true nature is not the body and mind and therefore you are able to feel complete, regardless of the circumstance your body/mind finds itself in? 

There is something bigger than me at play.

Whether you are religious, spiritual, agnostic, atheist etc., everyone has some sense of these being something else. Something unexplainable.  It may only be the tiniest background feeling. It’s this belief that drives superstitious behaviour, wishing for good luck, praying to whomever or whatever. Even wondering how things turned out the way they did, or marvelling at the supreme intelligence of nature.  All of these behaviours and thought patterns are a recognition that the body-mind is not in control of their circumstances.

I am the Knower and the Known

You’ve looked into the eyes of a baby, person or animal and felt an uncanny feeling that they know everything there is to know about you.  Or you’ve sensed the impossibility of anything existing separate to you knowing it.  The you that is doing the knowing and being known isn’t the separate person you think yourself to be.  It’s the You that you really are.  The Knower and the Known.

Summary – You already know this

This article is important.  It points us back to knowing that we already know.  That there isn’t anywhere to get to.  That there isn’t anyone else who is more spiritual than you are, and that you don’t need to do anything in order to be more awake.  It points to the fact that this is something you know, and have always known.  Sure, from time to time you forget that you know.  The best thing about forgetting is, of course, remembering.  Maybe it takes a person or a book to point it back out to you, but you can’t remember something you didn’t already know.

For those of you who are “Yeah, but”-ing, of course, each of these things can be explained from a perspective of being separate humans.  That’s what we’ve been taught to do all our lives.  How is living, believing that we are separate humans working out for us?  Why not put your scepticism to one side for a few moments and sit in wonder at the recognition of your experience?  Wonder at what your true nature really is.

Thanks for reading. x

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

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