Butterfly Effect Coaching https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk Butterfly Effect Coaching is a Business Coach, provides Executive Coaching and Personal Coaching Sun, 15 Apr 2018 16:19:36 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.6 You don’t need self belief to be successful… https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/self-belief-successful Sat, 14 Apr 2018 18:29:54 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2540 The post You don’t need self belief to be successful… appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

“The one thing that the most productive, consistent, resilient and loving humans do NOT possess, is an intense belief in themselves…” 

Garret Kramer

Talking to a friend today, telling her the story of how I came to be presenting with a speaker as awesome as Garret Kramer, I realised that this story confirms what people like Garret and I teach… That believing in yourself is really NOT important.  So I thought I would share that story with you.  It goes a little something like this:

 

self belief

How important IS self belief…?

Little old me is working as a coach and believes that bringing the Inside Out understanding into being a significant part of the way that I work would be hugely beneficial to my clients.  Little old me hears of Garret Kramer from another coach who is in the business, thinks he sounds interesting and starts following his work.

Meanwhile I have 2 very good friends who are in this understanding and I found myself sharing things with them that Garret says in his posts on social media and how it really resonated with me.  At this time I did not exist to Garret.  I also found myself sharing with these 2 friends that I would like to be on a year long programme to really propel myself to the next level.  A little while later one of these friends hears that Garret is running a programme and that it starts in two months’ time. She excitedly tells me! Well of course I wanted to be on it, so I speculatively enquired.

This enquiry led to a Skype interview with Garret in which he told little old me that he thinks I am a very good coach and he’d be delighted to have me on his programme.  I got off the call and thought how hilarious it was that I’d managed to pull the wool over his eyes!

Prior to the course beginning I started to feel a bit anxious…

Entertaining thoughts about how I actually wasn’t good enough to be on this course and I’d show myself up.  Or even worse, the exposure to this course would propel me into great success.  How was little old me going to deal with that!?

Fortunately, because I have this understanding that Garret and I both teach, I know that neither of those things are true. They are just thought. There is also no way that this course could affect me positively or negatively as I am already whole.  So I buckled up and got on with it!  Regardless of what my self belief was saying.

Less than a month into the course I’m chatting to Garret about the work I am doing locally and next thing I know he’s offering to do a talk with me to people in my area.  Once again I come off the Skype call and laugh to myself about how I’ve still got the wool over his eyes.  Garret Kramer, top coach to professional athletes and well known business people, doing a talk in Leigh on Sea with little old me?!  Hilarious!

And then I panic about how I’m going to show myself up during the talk!

I am writing this now, laughing.  Those feelings and those thoughts felt so real, but I am doing this talk anyway.  Sometimes those feelings are there, a lot of the time they are not.  But I know that I’m fundamentally okay. There is nothing crushing about those thoughts, because I know they aren’t telling me anything real or true.  They are simply my ego looking to protect itself. Nothing more.

So having a deep belief in myself is neither here nor there.  How the event goes is neither here nor there.  Of course I care about how it goes, and I want it to be a success and for me to be perceived as knowing what I’m talking about, but I know that whether it is successful is nothing to do with my self belief – and it will not affect whether I am okay or not.  What a relief!  I can just get on with it and maybe even enjoy it…

Coming back to the original statement – getting a talk with Garret in your home town actually counts as a MASSIVE success (in my book, to me, which is all that success ever can be anyway) and I have achieved this despite not having the belief in myself that top motivational speakers will tell you you need.  Believing that you need self belief is just another pressure, another weight to bear…  If you drop the idea that you need to believe in yourself too, how much freer will you be?

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post You don’t need self belief to be successful… appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
Why can’t we all stick to schedules? https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/cant-stick-schedules Fri, 13 Apr 2018 15:21:24 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2533 The post Why can’t we all stick to schedules? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

You know that bit of you that doesn’t like being told what to do? 

I know it well, it’s a part of the reason I’m self-employed.  Well do you think that part of you likes being told what to do by YOU anymore than it likes being told what to do by anyone else?  Could that explain why a lot of your best intentions for yourself never quite come off…?

For instance…

…Geoff thinks on Monday that he should do some sales calls every day of the week. However he doesn’t take into consideration how he is going to feel on say Thursday.  If doing sales calls feels like a good idea on Monday, that’s a good time to do some sales calls.  On Monday!  Whether Geoff does sales calls on Thursday or not will depend on how he feels, what he’s thinking and how much he is buying into different ideas of what are important ways to spend his time.  He’s not going to take what Geoff on Monday thought he should do on Thursday any more seriously than say his old school teachers telling him not to tip back on his chair.

Thought is constantly changing, so what feels like it’s a great idea one minute can feel like a crushing burden the next.  Only so far as we buy into our thoughts being true and real…

time management and schedules

What things have you set out for yourself that you should be doing?  What state were you in when you decided you should do those things?  What state are you in when you think about them now?  And at the time you are meant to do them?  Is it the same state every time?  Of course not.  Our state of mind constantly fluctuates.  This is totally normal.  It’s the human condition.  So if we don’t feel like doing something on the Thursday that we set out for ourselves to do on the Monday, does that mean that we should beat ourselves up for not being motivated?  If something else feels more important, should we beat ourselves up for not being disciplined enough to stick to our plan?  If we are just feeling totally ‘meh’ and end up not doing anything at all, does that mean we should beat ourselves up for not using our time productively…?

No to all of these.

Consider what could happen if you said yes though…? Does this feel helpful? How about we just understand ourselves instead.  Understand that we are humans beings who are prone to fluctuations in mood.  When we treat ourselves with understanding we tend to perform better.

What if we go a step further and recognise what these thoughts and feelings that sway us into what feels like more negative behaviour are actually about (although of course we can never know for sure that it is negative. We don’t get to see the Sliding Doors scenario of what the rest of our lives would be like if we’d done the ‘positive’ behaviour).  In short, all of them can be drilled down to the notion that we might not be okay…

“I can’t phone that client, they might not be very nice to me and I won’t be okay if that happens”

“I can’t go for a run, it’s cold outside and it makes my lungs burn.  I’ll be much more okay if I stay in my centrally heated office”

“I can’t speak to my colleagues about my ideas on the way I think the processes could be run.  I’m not as experienced as them, they might laugh at me and I wouldn’t be okay”.

All of these ‘not okay’ thoughts are the same.

They are all falsely pointing to the idea that our okayness comes from something external.  That isn’t true.  The okayness is always there and has always been there.  In your moments of total elation and darkest despair.  And in those ‘meh’ moments too.  A fundamental knowing that you are always okay.  When you look for it, you know it’s there.  You can feel the truth of it.

Something that happens to people who delve into this understanding is that the sense of knowing that they are always okay seeps more and more into the foreground and the “I might not be okay” thoughts fade into the background.  As a result, things can feel lighter and behaviour changes…

There’s a chance to learn more about this understanding…

On Monday 30th April, 09.00 – 12.00 in Leigh on Sea, I will be joined by Garret Kramer, author of “Stillpower” and “The Path of No Resitance” to give a seminar on State of Mind & Performance to professionals locally.

More information and tickets are available here.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post Why can’t we all stick to schedules? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
Alex’s story – running a business in an off mindset https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/running-business-secure Mon, 09 Apr 2018 11:47:08 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2520 The post Alex’s story – running a business in an off mindset appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

Alex is a business person.  Alex is also a human being. As such, Alex is subject to the same fluctuation in thoughts and feelings as you and me.  Alex’s story is an interesting and very familiar one. See if you can identify with Alex’s experience, and whether what Alex learnt could be usual for you to understand too.  (Alex could be either gender, and the business could just as easily be a career…)

Alex works hard in his business.  

It’s really important to him that his business is successful. Alex believes that his own personal wellbeing and security depends on it.  He believes that his security comes from having enough money, achievement and recognition from others. He lives in a Western culture where these things are considered key to your wellbeing.

Alex carries around a lot of thoughts like this.  The content of Alex’s thoughts is not significant but he thinks it is (as do we all from time to time).  Alex also believes that how successful his business is, is a reflection on him as an individual. He pins his self worth and validity to his business and believes that any failures in his business are his failures.  He believes that he must work hard at all costs to ensure that the business is successful, because he is worried that otherwise people (himself included) will believe that he is not enough. When he really puts his mind to it, Alex can imagine a scenario where he is sleeping on a friend’s sofa without enough money to buy food, unable to get a job after his business has failed and feeling miserable and wondering what’s the point.  I mean this is the worst he can imagine, but it does pop up from time to time. This scenario is unacceptable to Alex.

Alex’s beliefs affect his behaviour.  

He gets up early and gets to the office early.  He goes through his emails checking and double checking for anything that he might have missed.  He goes through his order book, looking out for what could possibly go wrong, and worrying about it. He worries about where new business will come from. What his competitors are doing.  Whether he will get seriously fined if he doesn’t get his GDPR quite right… 

You see Alex has goals.  He has deadlines to meet and milestones to check his progress against along the way.  He beats himself up if he believes that he hasn’t been as proactive and efficient that day as he could have been.  But Alex never lets anyone know how he’s feeling. He maintains the facade to the outside world that all is going well – he’s in control and on track. To Alex, doing anything else would be admitting failure, and he can’t do that. He can’t be seen to be not enough. He wouldn’t be okay.

That’s how things look to Alex.  He runs his business in fear. He worries about potential disaster scenarios, he creates urgency where there is none.  He gets a bit short with suppliers and colleagues. Sometimes Alex actually does very little. He still goes into the office and appears to be working, but he really isn’t very productive.  His head is too busy for him to really be able to see clearly what he could get on with. He takes thoughts about his business home with him. Alex doesn’t really enjoy running his business like this.  He’s exhausted, but he gets on with it. It has become a normal way of living to him.

One day Alex comes across a new understanding.  

Alex learns that all the stress and worry and urgency are just thought.  Thoughts that he is believing about his business which aren’t actually true.  The thoughts are creating an illusion for Alex of how difficult running a business is and how stressful it is.  His thoughts are all focused on the idea of him not being okay. His thoughts all come from fear. None of these thoughts are helpful.  None of these thoughts are true.

Alex starts to see things differently. Firstly, he sees that, without these thoughts, he feels perfectly fine.  Great, even! Without anything needing to be a particular way in his business. He realises that he IS okay and that there is nothing that could happen in his business which would mean otherwise.  Without the fear of not being okay, with the knowledge that fundamentally Alex is perfectly fine, his stress and suffering disappear. The thoughts that created the illusion of how his business is have gone.  Every so often they pop their heads up, but he doesn’t buy into them for as long anymore. Alex understands something that has changed his perception forever. With this change in perspective, he is free to run his business for the joy of running it.  With curiosity about what he can create, with a desire to provide an excellent service and the compassion required to relate well to his colleagues, suppliers and customers.

Which do you think does better?  A business which is run with joy, or with fear?  That’s the topic for another article!

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post Alex’s story – running a business in an off mindset appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
Why understanding yourself can help you smash it in business https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/understanding-yourself-business Mon, 26 Mar 2018 14:07:41 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2503 The post Why understanding yourself can help you smash it in business appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

Answering this question is really helped by first understanding one of the reasons people don’t smash it in business…

understanding yourself smash it business

It looks to me a lot like the behaviours which happen in business which aren’t that helpful to the success of the business (or person within the business) come from a place of misunderstanding.  Misunderstanding what it takes for you to be okay.  Believing that you personally can be better or worse off as a result of what happens with your business.

If you aren’t sure what I mean by this, consider this question.  Have you ever thought to yourself anything along the lines of…

“I’ll be happy/okay when/after _________ happens”?   OR

“I won’t be okay if _________ doesn’t happen/I don’t get this right”?

If you are operating in this state, really keen on protecting yourself or making yourself better, I am very confident that you could be working at a better level than you currently are.  And working with much more ease too.

Not smashing it despite trying to

For instance a client of mine carried around a belief for a while that he needed to be really successful, and that success involved the business needing to be a certain size.  This belief seemed to guide all of his thoughts and behaviours about his business and had a knock on impact outside of the business too.  Overall he was pretty stressed out.

The reality was that despite this belief and how much importance was placed upon the business, his behaviour within the business wasn’t great.  It was coming from a place of needing to protect and change and grow in order for him to be okay – it really affected the quality of the work that was being done.  As well as my client’s wellbeing.

Smashing it

After a short period of working together my client got a new understanding of himself and where his wellbeing was actually coming from.  This enabled him to take a completely different approach to his business.  Coming at it with a more ‘loving’ attitude – for want of anything better to call it!  And with this loving attitude, the input and output of the business both improved.  His clients were happy, his team were happy, he was happy and things are running much more smoothly.

It’s important to note that none of this change came about by us working on implementing any strategies in his business.  I mean I could tell you what sorts of things he did differently, but that was personal to him.  To follow it yourself would be a wild goose chase.  However learning more about yourself and where your wellbeing comes from, really opens you up to approach your business and work in new and exciting ways!

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post Why understanding yourself can help you smash it in business appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
Happiness https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/happiness Tue, 20 Mar 2018 16:34:35 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2489 The post Happiness appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

I write this post on “International Day of Happiness” with so much love bursting forth from my heart that I don’t know what to do with it. 

Until I get a better idea, I’m using it to fuel this article!

What’s international day of happiness got to do with how I feel?  Well, nothing. Do I feel like this because I live in Leigh on Sea, voted the happiest place to live in the UK?  Nope.  Do I always feel this happy?  Now you’re just being silly.

Why do I feel so happy?

Well in short it’s because I’m lucky enough that the course of my life has taken me into a journey of learning something, that when understood deeply means that (more often than before) I am not looking in the wrong place for happiness…  While any of us are looking externally for things to do/have/be in order to experience happiness we experience NOT being happy.  How can anyone be happy when they are looking for happiness?  That just cannot be possible.  It wouldn’t make any sense.  Yet this is how we, in the Western World, have been conditioned to live our lives.

Most people believe that they will be happy/happier when/after:

  • They find true love
  • They have ‘enough’ money
  • They live in a better house
  • A problem is resolved
  • They have children
  • Their children have children
  • Their business becomes ‘successful’

This is by no means an exhaustive list.  And you aren’t to blame for looking for happiness in these places.  It’s a part of our societal conditioning.  All the while seeking these things, believing them to be what will make us happy, (when it’s actually the seeking that creates the absense of happiness) we deploy further strategies to help us manage how we feel in the meantime. In fact a friend showed me a leaflet she’d picked up with “10 things to do to make yourself happy”…

This is all backwards. It doesn’t work that way. These approaches and strategies are keeping us further away from the natural happiness that is innate for all humans. I feel truly grateful that my life went in a way that allowed me to find this out, and it’s my desire and passion to share this understanding with you if you’re game.  Happiness and love can be bursting out of your heart for absolutely no reason whatsoever too.  Just like it is out of mine as I type*.

happiness

Before you ask, yes I have a list of things that I would like to be better/different.  The difference is that I now understand that my wellbeing/security/happiness has nothing to do with whether I achieve those things or not.  This understanding, when I feel it deeply, as I am right now, frees me up to be joyfully happy.

* It is important to note that I am not in a state of perpetual happiness and I’m not meant to be.  I move between different emotions as does everybody else. This is the normal human experience. The difference is that I don’t try to fix it when I’m unhappy now, so my natural happiness is not held away by my seeking to change.  Our natural flows of emotion is a topic for another article.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post Happiness appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
Who is the “I” that feels stressed in business…? https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/stressed-business Sat, 17 Mar 2018 11:54:27 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2476 The post Who is the “I” that feels stressed in business…? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

It’s an unusual question to ask, but follow with it, if you’re game…

When we think about stress, we usually attach how we are feeling to some kind of circumstance that affects the business.  Maybe difficult market conditions, one of your colleagues, a really tight deadline, a cashflow that is quite stretched.  It appears to us that these are the causes, so our reaction is usual to start addressing the situation…  Diversifying the offering, managing the colleague, buying in extra resource, working extra hours, or asking for an overdraft as applicable.

The conditions vary, but the feeling of stress is the same.  We might also have the exact same feeling of stress and see that it is caused by something outside of the business.  By the political climate, our partner, global warming, traffic, our disobedient hair…  Once again, the conditions vary, but the feeling of stress is the same.  Yet we can also recognise that the stressed feeling is not a constant.  So the circumstance may remain in place for some time, but our apparent feeling of stress ebbs and flows.  We don’t always feel stressed.

stressed in business

So this takes us back to the original question.  Who is the “I” that is feeling stressed? Explore this question with me as you read.

Is it a person? What do you identify as being that person that you are?  Is it your body?  The thoughts and beliefs that you experience? Your feelings?

We’ve already acknowledged that your feelings come and go.  But the “I” still remains.  Your thoughts come and go too, don’t they?  And your body has changed massively over your life time.  Constantly being renewed.  Yet the “I” remains the same.

The “I” is who we are.

The stress that you experience is part of the thoughts and feelings that ebb and flow, come and go.  Just like the tide comes and goes, day and night, spring, summer, autumn, winter.  So can you see right now that the “I” is not stressed?  All that has happened is that you have temporarily believed your thoughts and feelings, thus experienced stress as being because of circumstances.  When you realise that “I” am not stressed, the stress goes and peace returns.  From that position of peace things look different and all manner of creativity, compassion, ideas and solutions can flow forth.

Understanding how this experience works is one of the most powerful things you can learn in business.  The way that you attend to problems becomes much more productive.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post Who is the “I” that feels stressed in business…? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
Leadership & Management Training https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/leadership-management-training Thu, 01 Mar 2018 18:11:32 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2437 The post Leadership & Management Training appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

Leadership & Management training

Affordable bespoke training, for the needs of your company and team…

A leader’s job is not an easy one, but it can be much more so when leadership and management are come at with the right understanding.  With a clearer understanding of what’s going on for people informing the decisions you make on how to interact with your teams.  A better understanding of what’s the real source of the ‘negative’ things like frustration, and of the ‘positive’ ones like productivity.

The style of coaching and training that I do for leaders involves exploring this understanding and nurturing in you, your innate leadership potential, which will thus allow you to develop the potential in your teams.  So you can lead and manage with compassion and resilience.

I am very flexible about how I provide my Leadership & Management Coaching and Training.  I am very happy to discuss the needs of your organisation and come up with a programme which is suitable for you. I am based in Leigh on Sea in Essex and primarily cover Essex and London.  Please get in touch to find out if I can help you.  We can cover a broad range of topics, including but not exclusive to:

  • Managing Communication
  • Self Leadership
  • Understanding Team Dynamics
  • Managing Individuals
  • Deal with difficult situations and conversations
  • Motivating and nurturing
  • Managing Performance
  • Clarifying roles, expectations and team rules

Vicky has given us direction as a management team and has really pushed our thinking – she delivers all her messages with a friendly smile and is an absolute pleasure to invite into our business.

Jamie Lewis - Affinity Mortgages

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post Leadership & Management Training appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
5 benefits ISO 14001 Brings to Businesses https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/5-benefits-iso-14001-brings-businesses Thu, 01 Mar 2018 12:27:42 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2427 The post 5 benefits ISO 14001 Brings to Businesses appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

Business ethics are important to me, so here is a guest post on ISO 14001

As a coach who works with businesses, I am always keen to share thoughts on how working ethically and in an environmentally conscious way can bring huge benefits within the business. I’m as passionate about this as I am about the impacts of State of Mind on business.  This blog post is from Assent.

1. Reduction in product usage and wastage. 

ISO 14001 is a good incentive to start monitoring the amount of rubbish you produce; both recycling and non-recycling. Many businesses find that much of what goes in general waste could be recycled.

When taking a look at how much waste you produce, you may be able to come up with methods and ideas to decrease it. This could include buying products in greater volumes, then decanting them into multi-use containers. For instance, you could buy 1 X 5 litre bottle of disinfectant and decant it into 5 reusable bottles instead of buying 5 X 1 litre bottles and throwing them away when they are empty. Usually, buying in bulk is more cost effective, and if you are having to re-fill bottles, you’ll pay better attention to ensuring you are using the correct amounts.

2. Cost Reduction.

When introducing environmentally friendly products, many organisations experience cost reductions. For example, you may change your contract with your waste disposal contractor to one that requires less waste collections. Or you may start using less products, such as paper, and therefore not have to buy as much.

3. Discover opportunities for staff to be provided with more formal training

When implementing a management system, you will learn a lot about your company, the products you use and the products you sell. For example, an introduction of new environmentally-friendly products provides a perfect opportunity for training to ensure the products are being used correctly. It may also highlight any misuse of products that could lead to negative health effects, such as products covered by COSHH regulations.

4. Use more eco-friendly products

You may have considered, or already be using, environmentally friendly products. However if you haven’t then you may find that when reviewing the products and materials you use and buy, you’ll find that they can be replaced with eco-friendly products. This is a great way to reduce any negative impacts on the environment from the current products and materials you’re using. Some eco-friendly products are safe to dispose of without needing a discharge consent, which will save your organisation money.

5. Better for the health of your staff.

Not only are eco-friendly products better for the environment, but they can have positive effects on the wellbeing of your staff too. Harsh materials and strong chemicals come with a range of negative health effects if used incorrectly, including; skin complaints, headaches, breathing issues and allergic reactions. Ensuring that staff are using less harmful products – and using them correctly – could help prevent problems before they start, and may work better than their non-eco-friendly alternatives.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post 5 benefits ISO 14001 Brings to Businesses appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
Is there such a thing as a regrettable business decision? https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/regrettable-business-decision Mon, 19 Feb 2018 14:48:09 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2399 The post Is there such a thing as a regrettable business decision? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

It certainly can feel like there is, but I’d like to challenge this notion in this post…

I’m going to start this post on regrettable business decisions with an assumption.  With the assumption that when you make decisions in your business, more often than not it looks to you like you made a choice.  Would you agree?  I say more often than not because I’m sure that there will be times when things happen in the moment, and are more of an impulse than something that you’ve mulled over before acting?

So what if I was to suggest to you that you don’t have a choice over whether you act on impulse or mull something over?  Can you see any truth in that?  So I’m encouraging you to consider that when something feels instinctive you do it, and when it doesn’t you don’t.  But you don’t get to choose what feels instinctive or not, do you?

Also I would like you to consider the possibility that you couldn’t have made a different decision than the one you did make, at the time that you mulled it over.  You only made the decision that you made as a result of the thoughts that came into your mind as you mulled it over, and how you felt at the time.  But did you actually have any control over what thoughts came into your mind, and how you felt?  I would argue that you didn’t.

regrettable business decision

So if everything that I’ve said so far makes sense to you, then it would perhaps also make sense to you to suggest that you couldn’t have made an alternative decision to the one that you made.  Can you see the truth in that?  So if that is true, then how could you possibly regret any of the business decisions that you’ve made?  You didn’t actually make them!

I can remember my Dad explaining something along these lines to me when I was a young girl.  It sounded like nonsense, yet also like one of the truest truths I’d ever heard!  Why is this?!  Well the ego doesn’t like the idea that you don’t actually make decisions.  The ego is sold on the personal.  On being right.  So the ego provides the resistance to this notion.  The part of you that is beyond the ego sees the truth.  Feels that there is definitely something in this.  Don’t worry about what your ego thinks!  Keep reading…

So let’s take this notion of regrettable business decisions one step further.

The idea that you could have made a decision in business which you regret implies that the outcome was all wrong.  Right and wrong are only judgements, and judgements in time for that matter.  Did you know that the invention of stainless steel was an accident?  The product was originally thrown in the skip as the wrong outcome.  However months later when it hadn’t rusted, it’s incredible value was seen.  Is it possible that every business decision that gets made has value?  No matter how much of an epic failure it may have appeared to have been.  Or how much money it may have cost…

Did you know that WD40 is thus called because the first 39 attempts were unsuccessful…?

Sure you can tell yourselves a story around what that ‘failure’ means about you, and your worth, and whether you’re okay or not.  But the truth is, all of that story is made up.  You know deep down that you are okay and you are worthy.  However the outcome manifests.  You only feel bad/feel regret when you are believing otherwise.  This feeling is your clue that you are resisting what’s true.  A knowing that there is never anything to regret.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post Is there such a thing as a regrettable business decision? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>
Where does stress really come from? https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/blog/stress-really-come Tue, 06 Feb 2018 18:22:10 +0000 https://www.butterflyeffectcoaching.co.uk/?p=2374 The post Where does stress really come from? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>

Let’s go on an adventure to understand what stress really is…

Stress is a feeling.  A feeling that comes from thought.  That’s it.

However…!

It looks to us, as we go around living our human lives, working in our human jobs, trying to meet the requirements that we believe exist for us day to day… that the feeling of stress comes from what’s around us.  From having too much to do.  From being under pressure.  From being responsible.  From not having enough hours in the day.  It looks very much like that doesn’t it?

Well it does if we take our experience at face value…

In fact there is a lot of advice about how to avoid stress in the workplace, how to have a good work/life balance so that you don’t get too stressed.  The benefits of yoga or meditation to counteract the stresses that come from our 21st century lifestyles.  Even what foods to avoid if we don’t want to feel too stressed.

I’d like to propose an alternative point of view for your consideration.  The one I started with, which is that stress is a feeling.  A feeling that comes from thought.  I’d like to go even further to say that it’s a perfectly normal feeling.  It’s a feeling that we experience when we get jammed up in a state of busy human mind, trying to work things out, make things better.

Grinding, grinding.  Resisting…

stressed business man

When we are doing this, we forget that we are actually perfectly okay.  That none of the scenarios that cloud our minds can actually do anything to hurt us.  It just looks like they can.  The scenarios, like the stress, are part of our perception.  And actually, the feeling of stress is our body’s way of letting us know that we have forgotten that we are okay.  That we are looking in the direction that we need to control external circumstances in order to be okay, and that just isn’t true.  The pain of this feeling lets us know that it’s time to stop looking in that direction and believing that we are not okay.  Just like if you touch a hot stove, the pain lets you know to stop touching the hot stove.

When we remember this, we can be grateful to the feeling of stress for having alerted us to the fact that we’d got off track.  Soon we will be seeing things differently and remembering that we are okay.  We’ll be feeling great, but without any external circumstances having changed.  This is the psychological immune system at work.  Let it do its magic and you’ll get better.  Work harder and harder on changing things so that you don’t experience stress anymore, and you’ll stay in the jammed up state of mind for longer.

Thanks for reading.

Want to know more about how I can help? Drop me a line or give me a call. A successful coaching relationship depends upon a great rapport, so it’s important to talk. I want to get to know you, see inside your world and we can assess how we’d go from there!

The post Where does stress really come from? appeared first on Butterfly Effect Coaching.

]]>