It Was Never About the Traffic: Understanding Your Triggers
We’ve all been there—you’re driving along, minding your own business, when suddenly someone cuts you up in traffic. Instantly, your blood is boiling. Maybe you mutter a few choice words. Perhaps you honk your horn aggressively. Maybe you really let them know how you feel.
But here’s the thing… it’s not really about the car, is it?
That intense reaction—that rush of anger, frustration, or even indignation—is often about something much deeper. It’s about old conditioning, unresolved emotions, and patterns that have been playing out for years, sometimes without us even realising it.
Why Do We Get Triggered?
A trigger is an emotional response that feels bigger than the situation itself logically warrants. It’s often a sign that something deeper is being activated within us—something unhealed, something from our past that hasn’t yet been fully processed. Here are a few common reasons we get triggered:
Feeling Overlooked or Disrespected – If someone cutting in front of you sends you into a rage, it might not just be about the traffic. It could be linked to years of feeling dismissed, unimportant, or not having your needs considered.
Past Experiences of Injustice – If you were constantly treated unfairly in childhood—whether by parents, teachers, or peers—you might react strongly to any situation that even remotely resembles that experience.
A Lack of Control – Many people find themselves triggered when they feel powerless in a situation. Traffic is a perfect example: you can’t control what other people do, and that helplessness can spark anger.
Unmet Emotional Needs – If we’ve grown up feeling unseen, unheard, or undervalued, everyday situations can poke at that wound. The rude colleague, the slow barista, the partner who doesn’t text back—these small moments can feel much bigger when they tap into deeper feelings of neglect or rejection.
The Pattern Keeps Repeating—Until You Break It
Triggers are patterns. And until we resolve the underlying belief or emotion, life will keep handing us situations that poke at it—whether it’s traffic, a snappy email, or feeling ignored in a group conversation.
That’s why healing isn’t just about reacting differently in the moment; it’s about going deeper. It’s about recognising, “Oh, this feeling is familiar. This is old. This isn’t actually about what just happened—it’s about something much bigger.”
How Do You Start Releasing Triggers?
The good news? You can break the cycle. You can shift these old patterns. Here’s where to start:
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Pause and Notice – Before reacting (or later, in a calmer moment afterwards!), take a breath and ask yourself: “What is this REALLY about?”
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Trace It Back – When else have you felt this way? Often, our triggers stem from patterns that started long ago.
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Reframe the Story – Once you recognise the root, you can start to shift the perspective. “I’m not being disrespected here—I’m experiencing an old wound being touched.”
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Process and Release – Whether through coaching, journaling, or energy work, you can start to dissolve the charge these old patterns hold over you.
Imagine Life Without the Triggers
What would change if those little things that used to send you spiraling no longer had power over you? If instead of anger, frustration, or anxiety, you felt calm, steady, and free?
This is exactly the work I do with my clients. We don’t just manage triggers—we dissolve them at the root. So you can finally stop being thrown off by the small stuff (that’s actually the big stuff).
Let’s clear it. Let’s free you. Let’s unbind you. ✨