Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail (and how to keep them)
I am not a big fan of New Years Resolutions! I don’t set them myself personally – why wait until New Year if there is something I want to start doing or stop doing?! Also, I have noticed that a lot of people are in quite a sluggish energy in early January, after the mad scramble to get everything ready for Christmas, then the enjoyment of the festivities – all they seem to want to do is hunker down, engage in some “Hygge” and wait for the colder, darker days to pass. Nevertheless, at the end of each year, millions of people set bold intentions to make the coming year better. Whether it’s improving health, growing professionally, or nurturing relationships – despite my misgivings about it, the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions is alive and well. However, by the time February rolls around, a staggering number of these good intentions have already fallen by the wayside.
N.B. While I am not a setter of resolutions, there is definitely something about the start of a new year being a blank canvas on which you can create the life you desire and deserve which stirs something inside most of us. I prefer the idea of starting the year mindful of what my intentions are and keeping an eye on them through the year. This feels more gentle, aligned and sustainable, more about this in another post perhaps! Watch this space. Back to NY resolutions…
The Statistics: A Sobering Reality
Research reveals that about 23% of people give up on their New Year’s resolutions within the first week, and by the end of January, 64% have abandoned them entirely. Despite the best intentions, most resolutions fail to stick, leaving many wondering why their efforts didn’t yield lasting change.
But here’s the thing: it’s not just New Year’s resolutions that suffer this fate. Good intentions in general — whether it’s starting a new diet, maintaining a consistent workout routine, or pursuing personal growth — often falter. So, what causes these setbacks?
The Real Reasons Behind Failed Resolutions
1. Conditioned Behaviour and Autopilot
Much of our daily life runs on autopilot. Over time, we develop routines and habits that become deeply ingrained, as we acquire “neural connections”. The result of these connections is that our brain finds it easier to take the path often taken, than to forge a new one. This inevitably means that when we try to change these patterns, our brains naturally resist, prioritising familiarity and efficiency over the effort required to form new habits. Breaking free from these conditioned behaviours requires repeated deliberate action, so that our brain wires in a new neural pathway. This is absolutely possible – but it’s easier said than done.
2. Self-Limiting Beliefs
“I’m not good enough.” “I always fail.” “I’ll never change.” And even “I can’t do that because my friends/family will think xyz about me”. These are examples of self-limiting beliefs. We all have beliefs about what is possible/right for us and they often lurk beneath the surface, at a subconscious level sabotaging our efforts before we even start. Our beliefs significantly affect our actions, so without addressing these underlying thoughts, even the most well-planned resolutions can crumble.
3. Self-Sabotage
Sometimes, despite wanting to achieve a goal, we find ourselves acting in ways that undermine it (and when we do, this provides further evidence to support our self-limiting beliefs). Self-sabotaging behaviours usually come from a desire to keep ourselves safe. We can have subconscious fears of failure or success, so sticking our necks out and trying something new, doesn’t feel okay to the part of us that craves safety and security. Self-sabotaging behaviours can also stem from unresolved emotions and beliefs about what we deserve. Recognising and addressing self-sabotaging behaviours (and the causes of them) is key to making meaningful progress.
4. Lack of Planning and Accountability
Setting a goal without a clear plan is like setting out on a road trip without a map. Maybe you are a Master Wayfinder like Moana (sorry, Mum joke), or you are just in it for the experience – but if you have something clear that you would like to achieve, having specific actionable steps, milestones, or a strategy to overcome obstacles is really important. Otherwise your good intentions will just got lost in the noise of life. Add into this some accountability – someone who knows what you are working and is cheering you on, and it will become much easier to stay on track.
The Role of a Coach in Breaking the Cycle
I know, it sounds like you are up against a lot when it comes to wanting to make sustainable change. I get it. It looks hard. And maybe those self-limiting beliefs are even whispering that it is too hard for you and you can’t do it. Let me tell you something right now. It is hard, AND you can do it. Yes YOU. You have everything within you that you need to make the changes you wish to make, you just haven’t learnt how to use these resources before. This is where using a coach like myself can be a game changer. I am not only skilled in helping you uncover, challenge and resolve the root causes of these challenges, I can also offer:
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Support and Encouragement: I will be your personal cheerleader, celebrating your wins with you and helping you navigate setbacks.
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Accountability: Regular check-ins ensure you stay committed to your goals, even when motivation dips and life gets busy.
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Clarity and Focus: We can work together to create a clear plan and break it down into achievable steps.
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Mindset Shifts: Through our conversations, I will help you identify and reframe self-limiting beliefs, empowering you with the tools you need to move forward, sustainably.
The Benefits of Lasting Change
When you take the time to understand why past efforts may have faltered and seek the right support, the results can be transformative. Instead of relying on fleeting willpower, you build a foundation of sustainable habits, a supportive mindset, and a clear vision for your future, where you are leading the way, rather than getting caught in the behaviours of the past.
If you’re ready to break free from the cycle of failed resolutions and create lasting change in your life, working through my signature programme “Becoming Unbound” could be the first step towards the life you truly want. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Becoming Unbound is a 121 life coaching programme. You can read more about the programme here. Or book a discovery call to get to know one another and find out whether 121 coaching is right for you.